Scenes from a Marriage
by Dragonfly8716
Summary: Spencer/Josh/Drake. Slash. Threesome. Spencer is lonely now that the kids have left for college. Josh will always stand by his man, but longs for a supportive, nurturing relationship. And Drake? He just rolls with it.


Disclaimer: I don't own _iCarly_ or _Drake and Josh_.

Warnings: Language. Slash. Threesome sex.

***

Josh drove down Kennedy Square. The sound of the wiper blades had changed from a steady swish to a thwack-thwack-thwack as ice slowly built up. Even with the wipers on high, it was getting hard to see. Snow accumulated in the upper corners of the windshield, and little clumps broke off and slid down into the clear section of the window.

Josh cursed himself for not booking a room at some chain hotel by the airport. Three months ago when he'd been organizing this tour, he'd run across the Parker-Nichols Hotel on Zaplook. The coincidence had amused him, so he'd reserved a suite for himself and Drake.

Now he was inching along, afraid to take his eyes off the road long enough to check the map he'd printed, but fairly certain he was within a few blocks. He was both relieved and worried that there weren't any other cars on the road. He saw a blurry reddish glow in the near distance. A stoplight? Josh braked and the car skidded a few feet the right before lodging itself against the curb.

He tried to remember what he'd learned back in Driver's Ed. _Tap the brakes. _He'd try that the next time. When he pressed gently on the accelerator, the engine revved but the car didn't move. He floored it and the engine roared, but the car still didn't budge. _Shit. Shit, shit, shit._ He put the car in park, turned off the ignition and pounded his forehead against the steering wheel.

Josh had spent the morning with the suits from the record company. He walked away with an unsigned contract and the certain knowledge that they'd make a better offer within a week. He'd managed to get on the last flight to land in Seattle before the airport closed. It took over an hour to figure out that his luggage hadn't. By the time he switched on the radio in his rental car, there were several reported wrecks and traffic was barely creeping along the highways.

As he sat in the car, snow piled up over the thin glaze of ice on the windshield. The car reminded him of a cave, cold but cozy. He probably would have sulked there a lot longer if he hadn't been so eager to see Drake. He'd entertained himself on the plane by planning the quickest way to get Drake naked and the infinite variety of things they'd do once he was, but what Josh wanted more than anything right now was to lie with his head in Drake's lap while Drake ran his fingers through his hair.

He decided to find out where he was. His door wouldn't open, so he climbed across the passenger seat and stepped out onto the sidewalk. Something smacked the back of his head and he instinctively put his hand up. He brushed something icy, which dropped inside his collar and trickled down his back.

Josh turned, expecting to see a kid running away. Instead, a man with a sheepish grin was trudging towards him through four inches of snow. "Sorry, I didn't see you. I was throwing shot put."

"Shot put?" asked Josh, confused.

"Yeah." The man looked completely embarrassed now. "I wanted to have a snowball fight, but the kids are all away at college, so I, um…."

Josh grinned in spite of himself. "What's your name?"

"Spencer Shay," he replied, sticking out a snow-encrusted glove.

Josh put on his best announcer voice. "Olympic gold-medallist Spencer Shay defends his title in the shot put. Unfortunately, his first shot goes wild, and the Lithuanian judge is knocked unconscious."

"Look, I really am sorry. I live right upstairs. You want some coffee? Or cocoa? I've got mini-marshmallows."

Josh wasn't quite sure how he did it, but Spencer made marshmallows sound suggestive. He opened his mouth to ask how far it was to the Parker-Nichols Hotel and heard himself say, "Sure. That would be nice."

***

Spencer handed Josh the measuring spoons. "Are you sure you used enough flour?"

"Not really," said Josh, unscrewing the lid on the vanilla. "It's been a long time since I actually finished baking a batch. Drake usually pulls them out of the oven after fifteen minutes and eats them with a spoon. You have any cinnamon?"

Spencer pulled the bottle off the spice rack and said, "You two sound pretty close. You aren't just his manager, are you?"

Josh frowned. "Drake and I are… complicated."

Spencer looked expectantly at him until Josh said, "What?"

"Nothing. You've just got something on your face." Spencer ran his fingertips lightly over Josh's cheek.

Josh had seen Drake use the same move so many times that he couldn't help smirking a little bit, even as he felt himself lean into Spencer's touch. He stepped back and said, "Come on. Let's get this in the oven."

They worked together without saying much beyond "Do you have a non-stick pan?" and "How long do they bake?" until Josh shut the oven door.

"Spencer?" asked Josh, and the expectant look was back. Josh told himself to go for it, just this once. He stroked Spencer's cheek, running his hand over the stubble. "I'm attracted to you. You're not imagining that."

"Is there a 'but'?"

_Damn._ Josh could hear Drake's giggle. "But there's someone waiting for me."

"Then prepare to defend your honor." Spencer tossed Josh a spatula. Holding a wooden spoon like a saber, he shouted, "En garde," and lunged forward.

At first Spencer beat him back around the kitchen island while Josh swung his spatula wildly in defense. Soon he realized that there was a rhythm and style to fencing, not very different from dancing. He let his instincts take over and forced Spencer to retreat to the living room, where he tripped over the coffee table and landed awkwardly on the couch.

Josh grinned mischievously. "You're easy. I'm going to remember that the next time I'm in town."

***

They sat at the corner table. The club was small and dimly lit, and Josh had made sure they weren't followed here after the concert.

The blond on Drake's lap was actually twining her legs around his waist. Her skirt was so short that when Spencer glanced their direction, he could see her panties peeking out. He tried not to see Drake's hands moving under her blouse. Josh, eyes resolutely fixed on Spencer's face, kept up a steady stream of conversation. The only sign that he was aware of what was going on across the table was a barely noticeable twitch under his left eye.

Eventually the girl detached herself from Drake and said, "I'm going to the little girls' room."

Drake ran his fingers through his rumpled hair. "So, what do you do for a living?" he asked Spencer, as if they'd just been introduced.

"I'm an artist. I make sculptures."

"Spencer's an up and coming local artist known for his use of recycled materials," said Josh, quoting an article he'd found on Zaplook. Placing a hand on Spencer's arm, he said, "I'd really love to see some of your work."

"Up and coming," snickered Drake.

"Every chance I get," said Spencer, grinning at Drake.

"Oh, grow up," said Josh.

"I think we're very adult," said Drake, winking at Spencer. "So, did you enjoy the concert?"

"You're good," said Spencer. "You could be amazing in five years."

Josh protested, "He's already amazing."

Drake caressed Josh's hand in a way that made Spencer resolve to ask about their relationship, and said fondly, "You just say that because you love me." When Josh started to protest, Drake smiled affectionately and murmured, "It's cool, Josh. I need one person who adores me no matter what I do."

Leaning across the table, he placed his other hand over Spencer's and looked into his eyes with an intensity that made Spencer shiver slightly. "I think you were about to be honest, which is a pretty rare thing. So, tell me, why am I just 'good'?"

Spencer considered the question before answering. "Your style is sort of all over the place. If I look at one of my early sculptures, I can tell exactly whose work I was madly in love with that week. I think that's where you're at right now. You're still finding your voice."

Drake nodded as Spencer talked. "There's just so much amazing stuff out there, and I want to do all of it."

Spencer replied enthusiastically, "I know. I still fall in love with a new artist every other month. But no matter who inspires me, the stuff I do now is totally me. Give yourself five years and everything you do will be totally Drake Parker, and that will be awesome."

"Thanks." Drake smiled at Spencer again, and this time it felt friendly instead of flirtatious. Glancing across the room, Drake said, "Christine's coming back. If you guys don't mind, I think we'll head out. See you tomorrow, Josh?"

"Yeah, bro. You and _Justine_ have fun." Josh handed Drake his jacket.

Drake stood up and gave Josh a quick hug. Spencer noticed that Drake's hand continued to rest casually on Josh's arm. "All right, kids," said Drake with a smirk, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." When Justine reached the table, he draped an arm around her shoulder and nuzzled her ear.

Josh watched Drake walk away before turning back to Spencer, who was watching him with an odd expression on his face. "That was… interesting."

"Sorry. He was on his worst behavior tonight. I keep meaning to get him neutered."

"Are you two—?" Spencer shook his head. "On second thought, I don't want to know. Are you coming over to my place?"

Josh grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."

***

They kissed all the way from the lobby to the tenth floor, which was pretty awesome in itself, but when the elevator door opened and Josh saw the sculptures, he actually did a little happy dance. Among the other pieces were a life-sized gyroscope and an enormous geodesic sphere.

"Oh my God, it's junior high science fair meets playground. What's this?" Josh asked, running his hand over a wheel that had small cannon balls attached by leather straps, "Some sort of medieval torture device?"

"A perpetual motion machine."

"Actually, that's impossible."

"Right. Second law of thermodynamics. But it's potentially dangerous and makes a lot of noise, so I had to build it," said Spencer enthusiastically.

"Second law of thermodynamics?" asked Josh, surprised.

"Entropy increases over time," said Spencer, as if it was obvious.

"Spencer Shay, you're a science geek?"

"I prefer dweeb."

"I think I might be in love," said Josh, pulling Spencer in for another kiss.

***

It was Josh's third trip to Seattle in as many months, and this time Drake has insisted that Josh schedule it when he could come along. They had argued in loud whispers over moo shu at B.F. Wang's, and even though Josh had given in and made excuses to Spencer, Drake hadn't come back to the hotel with him.

Josh had been asleep for several hours when Drake finally stumbled into the room. He woke up to find Drake draped over his chest, poking his cheek gently and chanting, "Joshie, Joshie, Joshie," in a slurred voice.

"What is it, Drake?"

Drake gave Josh a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss. The taste was fruity and alcoholic, but the smell on his skin was pure sex.

Josh shoved him over onto the other half of the bed. "Take a shower first."

"Jealous much?"

"I'm tired, Drake."

Drake sat up cross-legged on the bed. He slowly tilted his head down until it was level with Josh's face. "I was jealous, Joshie, but now we're even."

Josh told himself it was another nameless girl, another guy, a family of contortionists, horny triplets, but the shot of adrenaline in his stomach told him exactly who it had been. "What do you mean?"

Drake tilted his head even further and oozed down on his side until he was looking up at Josh. "I'm sorry."

Josh closed his eyes. "Damn it, Drake, you fuck everybody. Would it have killed you to keep your hands off?"

"Is that why you dated Mindy? 'Cause you knew I wouldn't touch her?" Drake was back in Josh's face again, and it was all Josh could do not to pick him up and throw him across the room.

"You had to get drunk and go screw him," Josh said angrily, climbing out of the bed and searching for the pants he had taken off earlier.

"No, got drunk after. 'Cause I didn't wanna think about it. 'M sorry, Josh."

Josh was too busy shoving clothes into his bag to hear. He stormed out into the hallway, not caring who saw him half dressed.

***

Spencer called, "Come in. It's open." He added a dash of pepper and put the lid back on the stockpot. When he turned around, Josh was right there, pulling the ladle out of his hand and grabbing him by the shoulders.

"Why?" spat Josh. Spencer had never heard a single word hold so much rage.

"Why did you sleep with him?" asked Josh again. He pushed Spencer against the kitchen door and kissed him roughly, forcing his tongue into his mouth. When Spencer tried to break away, Josh caught him by the shoulders, snapping his head back against the glass panel. He heard a shattering sound and felt the door give slightly. Josh's eyes widened in horror, and he backed away, letting his hands fall limply to his sides. Staring blindly towards Spencer, he said, "I'm so angry. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you."

Spencer said cautiously, "I'm going to step away from the door." Without turning away from Josh, he backed slowly towards the stove. Retrieving the ladle from the floor, he dished up two bowls of soup and set them on the table. "Chicken noodle. I have it on good authority that this will cure anything from the common cold to a broken heart."

"I'm sorry," said Josh, gesturing towards the door. A curtain of shattered fragments hung suspended where the glass panel used to be. He reached over to touch the slight indentation Spencer's head had made, and the whole thing came cascading down, sections tearing away and small shards flying everywhere. "Safety glass," said Josh a little hysterically.

"Josh," said Spencer in a tired voice, "shut the fuck up, and go eat your soup."

They sat at the kitchen table in silence for a few minutes. When Josh looked up, Spencer was watching him with a concerned look on his face. "Are you on something? I've never seen you act like this."

"On something? No. I've been driving around for a long time. I only got a few hours of sleep. Drake came back to the room completely trashed, and I had to leave."

"Trashed?" asked Spencer, surprised.

"Drunk. Shit-faced. Bragging. Rubbing it in my face. I know I should have talked to him first, but God, Spence, I can't deal with him yet. I'm sorry. I know this isn't really your mess."

Spencer opened his mouth, then closed it again.

The corners of Josh's mouth turned up slightly.

"What?"

"You look like a frog."

"I'm trying to decide if you're calm enough to hear anything I have to say," said Spencer with a hint of irritation in his voice.

Josh nodded. "I think so. Yeah."

"I screwed up, Josh, all right? But you two made it easy for me."

Josh said flatly, "So Drake made the first move. Surprise."

As usual, Spencer said the first thing that came into his head. "Drake pretty much charmed the pants off me."

"Literally," said Josh with a crooked smile. He laughed, louder and longer than he should have, until the laughter turned to hiccups and the hiccups turned to sobs. Spencer came around the table to hold him. He stroked Josh's hair and crooned, "Hey, Josh. Hey, baby. It's gonna be all right."

***

Josh thought they had outgrown this, but as Drake pinned him to the floor in Spencer's loft, he realized that they'd never stopped wrestling. Not really. It had just gotten more intimate.

Tomorrow was Spencer's birthday. Even though Spencer never acted his age, maybe _because _Spencer never acted his age, Josh suspected he was sensitive about being older. So Josh wanted everything to be perfect. He was making frosting for Spencer's cake—homemade frosting, none of that nasty canned stuff—when Drake swiped his spoon off the counter. Standing just out of Josh's reach, he stuck out his tongue and licked slowly and deliberately with his eyes locked on Josh. Josh had lunged for him, and they'd ended up here on the floor with Drake moving in for a kiss and Spencer a few feet away on the couch, struggling to keep his face blank.

"Drake!" snapped Josh, sharply enough for Drake to jerk his head away. "Behave."

Drake jumped up, brushed off his jeans and offered a hand to Josh. As he pulled him to his feet, he leaned in close and said quietly, "We could all play together if you'd just learn to share." Josh was still trying to formulate a response when Drake darted down the hall.

Spencer said jokingly, "You boys are certainly in a feisty mood today."

Drake came running back with fencing foils. He tossed one to Josh, who instinctively caught it by the handle. He handed the other to Spencer.

Confused, Josh asked, "Drake—what?"

"I want to see you duel." He vaulted over the couch and looked expectantly at Josh.

Josh had a bad feeling about this, but he still wasn't sure what Drake was up to. Spencer was apparently quicker on the uptake because he said, "Winner gets the fair lady's hand?"

Drake settled back into a seductive pose in the corner of the couch, fluttered his eyelashes and said, "I'm no lady, but whoever wins can have me."

In spite of the light tone, Josh could tell that Drake was deadly serious. He and Spencer flirted constantly—just two outrageous teases having a little fun—but Josh could feel how dangerous this was, how close they were to shifting the delicate equilibrium they'd reached.

Josh shook his head. "I'm not playing, Drake." He tossed to foil back to Drake, who caught it as easily as he had. Fortunately, the oven timer went off, giving him an excuse to walk away. After he put the cake on a rack to cool, he turned back to the living room. Spencer and Drake were fencing. Spencer had the advantage of experience, but just like Josh, Drake learned fast. Josh could tell the Spencer was going to lose, was already losing, and he couldn't think of a single way to make this end well.

Drake had landed a third touch on Spencer's chest and was slowly forcing him into a corner when he caught Josh's eye and something like regret passed over his face. Then Drake—who flew over furniture and danced like a pro and always played to win—lost his footing. Twice. Spencer knocked the blade out of his hand, and Drake bowed. "I'm going to pick up a smoothie. If I see anything else I want, I might pick that up too. See you kids later."

Josh wanted to stop Drake from leaving, so they could have a long talk about why he had changed his mind. He mouthed "thank you" behind Spencer's back. Drake gave him one of those looks that made him feel like he'd missed something completely obvious, and then he was gone.

***

Josh stood in the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. After rinsing the shaving cream off his face, he stared into the mirror. Spencer walked up behind him and gave him a quick squeeze. "What's up? You seem pensive."

Josh smiled ruefully. "My inner fat boy is giving me a hard time today."

Spencer rested his chin on Josh's shoulder so they were looking into the mirror together. "Do you have any idea how sexy you are? You're so much prettier than I am."

Josh watched in the mirror as Spencer planted a row of kisses along his neck. When Spencer lingered at the sensitive spot behind his ear, Josh's lips parted slightly and his face flushed.

Spencer looked at Josh in the mirror. "You can't tell me that's not hot."

Spencer reached for the towel, and Josh caught his hand. "I have to leave for the airport in twenty minutes."

"Give me ten."

***

With his carry-on slung over his shoulder, Josh sprinted towards Gate 14. He'd been running ever since he shoved some crumpled bills into the driver's hand. If he was honest with himself, he'd been running for the last eighteen months.

By the time he reached the access tunnel, the flight attendant was shutting the door. He shouted, "Wait!" as he wedged an arm into the gap. Not the brightest thing he'd ever done, but airport security had relaxed over the past five years, and the flight attendant merely pursed her lips as she scanned his ticket. Then her polite mask was back, and she asked him to please take his seat immediately so the flight could be cleared for takeoff. He walked through the access tunnel quickly, pressing his hand against the stitch in his side.

Spencer had pulled every trick in the book to keep him at the loft just a little bit longer, and even though Josh was longing to see Drake, he hadn't wanted to leave. They both wanted more of his attention, and exhilarating as that had been at first, Josh couldn't live in the middle much longer. He spent all his time coming and going. _Pun not intended, _he thought wryly_. _It made him wonder why he'd worked so hard to keep Drake and Spencer apart, when he really needed both of them together.

For once, the travel gods smiled on him. A skinny red-haired boy dozed against the window, and the shy-looking brunette barely glanced up from her book as he crowded past her into the middle seat. As the flight attendants went through their routine, he couldn't resist a quick text. _cant wait 2 talk. luv u. _Feeling slightly guilty about flouting the rules, he snapped his phone shut. A crazy plan was forming in his head, and he was certain it would work if he could manage not to talk himself out of it.

***

Drake lay in another hotel room breathing in the faint familiar smell of stale cigarettes and recycled air. A few nights ago he had scared himself by wondering if it was all worth it. He loved his music, couldn't imagine a life without it; and the energy from the crowd never failed to make him high; but the longer he was on the road, the faster he crashed. After a while he got so lonely that even the girl du jour, tangled up with him in the too-soft, too-often washed sheets, couldn't stop him from feeling alone. This tour had gone on so long that he couldn't even keep track of what town he was in anymore, and he had missed Josh so much that even on stage he couldn't forget him.

So when Josh had stepped off the plane this afternoon, Drake had tackled him without worrying who might see. Josh had given him a peck on the cheek, making warning noises about cameras and curious fans, and Drake had dragged him into the nearest men's room to say a proper hello. After tonight's performance the high hadn't faded, but it was only now, lying together in bed, that Drake realized he would do anything to have Josh with him all the time.

Remembering the text from earlier, he asked, "So what did you want to tell me?"

Josh looked nervous, and Drake wasn't sure he was going to like what he was about to hear, but as long as they were naked and Josh's hand was resting on his thigh, Drake was willing to be a good listener. He knew exactly how to distract Josh if things got too serious.

"You're attracted to Spencer, right?" Josh rolled onto his side and slowly traced a line down Drake's arm.

"Yes," said Drake cautiously.

"I'm thinking that maybe the three of us should, you know, together."

Drake considered this for a minute. "Josh Nichols, are you suggesting a threesome?"

"Yeah. Too weird?"

Drake shook his head. "Not to me. You're the one who freaks out." He propped up his head on his hand, so that he could look directly into Josh's eyes. "Let's just be really clear about this. You want to suck his dick while he's stroking mine? You want to fuck him while he sucks me off?"

For a second Josh looked appalled, but he swallowed and said, "You always make things sound so romantic."

Drake sat up and pulled the sheet past his waist. Josh started to run a hand over his stomach, but Drake stopped him because he could tell Josh needed to say something, even if Josh didn't know it yet. He was going to get better at this listening thing. He really was. He laced their fingers together and rested their hands on the bed. "Tell me what's going on."

"I love him, Drake, and I want to be with him, and I'm being a real shit the way I keep leaving him to be with you. It's not fair to him." Drake's hand clenched and he could feel his fingernails dig into Josh's skin. Josh winced. "Sorry. That was not the beginning of a break-up speech. Now retract your claws."

Drake loosened his grip. "I don't get it, Josh."

"I know. I'm not saying this right. I'm not going to leave you, Drake, and he knows it. This thing between you and me—he understands, but I don't think that makes it hurt any less." Josh shook his head in frustration. "That's still not it."

Drake sighed. He was sorry he'd brought it up, but he knew Josh would fret until they sorted this out. "Make it simple, Josh. Ten words or less."

"I love him, and I love you, and I can't decide."

"And this way you don't have to?"

"Yeah, but maybe you're right. Maybe it's not such a good idea."

_God, Josh could be such a girl. _"It's just sex, Joshie. Nothing new. No one you haven't done before." Drake threw a leg over Josh. Straddling his waist, he kissed him softly on the lips. "I'm up for it. Let me know when you're ready." Drake grinned a lazy, seductive grin. "But tonight you're all mine."

***

"I could raise," said Drake, who had only lost a single shoe so far, "but I'm going to take pity on you. I call."

Josh laid down three of a kind.

Spencer said, "I got nothing."

Drake fanned out his hand. "Kings beat Jacks."

Josh groaned and pulled off his T-shirt. He only had his boxers left to protect his dignity. He muttered to himself, "I've got to learn to bluff."

Spencer, who was already shirtless, tossed a sock onto the pile. Josh could tell from the way the corners of his mouth twitched that he was dying to laugh, but he said sympathetically, "With Drake's luck, he could challenge you wearing nothing but swimming trunks, and you'd still be naked before he was."

"True."

Drake said innocently, "Poor Joshie. I'll let you bet truth or dare next hand."

Josh looked suspiciously at Drake, who raised an eyebrow and said, "Well, if you'd rather be naked…."

"Fine."

Spencer dealt. Drake glanced at his cards and grinned wickedly. "Bet you a shoe and raise you two socks."

Spencer stood up and took off of his jeans. "I fold."

Josh crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared defiantly at Drake. "I see you three dares."

When Drake won, Josh was prepared to be embarrassed, but the calculating look on Drake's face sent a little trickle of ice down his spine. Drake scooted closer, bumping their knees together, and said, "Truth. You're afraid to tell Spencer about your idea, aren't you?"

Spencer asked, "What idea?" but Drake hushed him impatiently. "This is _my_ game. Answer me, Josh."

Mouth suddenly dry, he nodded. "Yeah."

Drake moved his face closer until their noses were almost touching. "Truth. What would Miss Nancy say?"

After years of absorbing self-help, the response was automatic. "The best way to overcome your fears is to face them."

Josh saw the triumph in his eyes and knew that Drake had won, but he wasn't quite sure how until he said, "Dare me."

"What?" asked Josh, confused.

Drake stood up, took a step toward Spencer, and said, "I dare you to dare me."

And then Josh knew exactly what Drake wanted. Voice shaking, he said, "I dare you to kiss Spencer."

The twinge of jealousy wasn't nearly as bad as the hurt confusion on Spencer's face. Before he could explain, Drake took control again, tilting Spencer's chin up and swooping down with the delighted look of a child who's been given a new toy. Spencer's eyes met Josh's, and all Josh could manage was a sharp little nod, but it must have been enough because Spencer closed his eyes. Josh knew that Drake's lips were magical, and when Drake pulled Spencer off the couch, he rose to his feet as if drawn by the pull of those lips alone. Without breaking the kiss, Drake opened his eyes and crooked a finger at Josh, beckoning him closer.

Josh slipped an arm around each of their waists, but wasn't quite sure what to do next until Spencer tangled a hand in his hair and kissed him with lips already wet from Drake's mouth. It was all more familiar than new, and when Drake ran a hand tantalizingly down his back while grinding briefly against his thigh, Josh was suddenly too far gone to think about turning back.

When Drake stepped back to strip off his shirt and shimmy out of his jeans, Josh took the opportunity to press up against Spencer. He let his hands roam until Drake nudged him to move aside. He made room for Drake, doing his best not to break the contact of skin on skin.

He wasn't sure whether it was Drake's hair brushing against his chin or Spencer's moan as Drake found _that_ spot on his neck, but Josh was suddenly as hard as he'd ever been. And he wanted _this_—not the cozy domestic trio or the practical solution to all the jealousy and careful not touching, although he wanted those things too—but he could be satisfied for a lifetime with these eager bodies and hungry mouths and willing hands. He wanted the taste of soda pop and bananas mixed with the taste of coffee and ham. He wanted the smell of sex mingled with the faint odor of slightly singed hair and paint thinner overlaid with a not unpleasant tang of sweat. He could see now that the pleasure they gave each other would only urge him on.

So when Spencer pulled back in concern and asked, "Are you OK?" Josh tried for a reassuring "I'm good," but what came out was a lust-drunk "God, yes."

Then Drake was nuzzling his ear, twining fingers through his hair, whispering, "Don't think, Joshie," filling his mouth with tongue. When Josh realized Spencer was watching them, he pulled back. Taking Spencer's hand, he kissed his palm and pressed it to the bulge in Drake's tight briefs. Then he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of Spencer's boxers and sank down to his knees.

***

Spencer's plane was late. By the time he made it backstage, he was running. His foot snagged on something, quite possibly his own shoelace, and he nearly fell headlong onto the stage. Josh's strong hands caught him by the shoulders and pulled him back.

Josh's face glowed with pleasure, the way it always did when Drake was singing. Josh put an arm around him and said, "He's amazing tonight. Amazing! I'm so glad you made it."

Spencer rested his head against Josh's shoulder. He'd been down in the front row surrounded by screaming girls often enough that he could close his eyes and picture Drake on stage. He could see the easy sway of his hips, the way his lips caressed the mike, the smile that would break spontaneously across his face in the middle of a song. He could feel the warmth of his breath and the touch of his calloused fingertips. Listening to Drake's voice, Spencer could hear all the other tones—rough, needy, desperate, teasing—that the fans never got to hear. From his position in the wings, he could see a little curve of skin peeking out between Drake's T-shirt and belt, and he vowed to run his tongue over that patch of skin before the end of the night.

After the last song, Drake launched himself off the stage and into Josh's arms. The way they connected was sweet and sexy and inevitable. Spencer had accepted a long time ago that Josh would always come first. Without Josh, Spencer would have been just another one-night stand.

Josh whispered something in Drake's ear, and Drake noticed Spencer for the first time. He wriggled out of Josh's arms and threw himself at Spencer, who staggered under the impact. This time he did fall, and Drake, still wired from performing, simply clung to him and covered his face with light kisses. When Drake lifted his head, Spencer could see Josh smiling down at them both. Spencer must have looked a bit stunned because Josh just chuckled and said, "Don't worry. After a while you get used to it."

***

Drake sat on the couch with his feet on the coffee table, cradling a huge bowl of popcorn in his lap. Spencer flipped through the channels until Drake grabbed his arm and said urgently, "Go back."

"Canadian Idol? I thought you hated that show."

"I do, but this kid is really good."

Spencer reached for the popcorn, and Drake pulled the bowl away from him. "Not until you say please."

"Please, you greedy little man-beast."

Drake held up a piece of popcorn. When Spencer opened his mouth, Drake snatched his hand away. "Be nice."

"Please, oh hot hunk of man-flesh."

"Better," said Drake, popping the kernel into Spencer's mouth.

"Mmm, I'd forgotten how good this is with butter."

"It tastes even better if you lick it off my fingers."

Spencer laughed. "You're insatiable."

"That had better mean hot," pouted Drake.

"Hot to trot," teased Spencer, and Drake smacked him on the arm.

They were still watching TV when Josh walked into the loft with a preoccupied look on his face. "I've got good news and bad news," he said, dropping a stack of tabloids into Spencer's lap. Drake read the headlines out loud. "Drake Parker Dates Mystery Man…Drake Parker's Gay Love Affair…Drake Parker's New Boyfriend." Each cover showed the same grainy photo of Spencer hugging Drake, and even though Spencer knew they hadn't, the camera angle made it look like they were about to kiss.

"So what's the good news?" asked Spencer.

"I finally made page one, dude," said Drake, as he and Josh knuckle touched.

"I fail to see the humor."

"Sorry," said Drake, placing a hand on Spencer's knee. His face radiated innocent concern, but Spencer could see the laughter in his eyes. "I forgot you were a media virgin. Josh has dealt with worse."

Josh sat down on his other side and started ticking off points. "Here's the good news. One, no one knows who you are yet, so you aren't going to be harassed every time you leave the building. Two, the photo is poor quality and up 'til now you've only had local press, so we've probably got a couple days before someone figures it out. Three, I can feed the media a story that will take the pressure off."

"Right," said Spencer sarcastically. "That wasn't Drake. It was actually his evil twin who isn't famous enough to be in the tabloids."

Josh looked uncomfortably at Spencer. "Close. I think no matter what we do you're going to be temporarily famous. So I want to announce that Drake Parker's brother-slash-manager is dating a local artist. Drake does a supportive brother speech, and the media drops the story like a hot potato because our names aren't big enough to sell anything."

Spencer stared at Josh. "Since when did you get so cynical?"

"Since a reporter posed as a groupie and took naked pictures of Drake."

"I never heard about that."

Josh looked pleased with himself. "That's what _I'm_ good at."

***

Spencer paced in the men's room until Josh grabbed him by the arm. He wrapped Spencer in a full body hug. "Relax. Drake is an incredibly good liar. Once you stop being nervous, I promise you'll enjoy the show."

When they opened the door, the small room appeared to be more crowded than it really was. Drake leaned casually against a podium up front, chatting with an attractive brunette. The hum of voices got slightly louder as they entered the room. Spencer hesitated. Josh slipped a hand into his and squeezed. Spencer could see the playful look in his eye as he whispered, "Wanna give them a photo op?"

"OK" said Spencer, not quite sure what he was agreeing to.

Josh took his face in his hands and gave him a very thorough kiss.

"What was that?" asked Spencer, flustered.

"Spin." Josh winked.

Spencer stuck his tongue out.

"Hey," said Josh. "I love you."

When they reached the front of the room, Drake flashed Spencer a reassuring smile. Leaning in close, he murmured, "Relax, babe. All you have to do is look pretty. I'll do the talking."

As Drake stepped up to the podium, the room hushed. "Good morning, everybody. There've been some rumors about my relationship with a 'mystery man.' I'm here to set the record straight. I'd like to start by introducing two people who are near and dear to my heart." Drake looked back towards Josh and Spencer. "Come out here, guys. This is my stepbrother and manager, Josh Nichols. This is his partner, Spencer Shay." Drake handed the mike to Josh.

Josh cleared his throat. "I'm not comfortable in the spotlight, but after all the rumors, I decided that I needed to clear up some confusion. As some of you may already know, I'm gay. I'm here to introduce my partner, Spencer Shay, a local Seattle artist. He's a really great guy, an amazing sculptor, and he makes me happy."

After handing the mike back to Drake, Josh slid his arm around Spencer's waist and guided him away from center stage. The room was buzzing again as Drake started taking questions.

"Mr. Parker, what is your relationship with Mr. Shay?"

"He's my brother's partner. I spend a lot of time with Josh, so I spend a lot of time with Spencer. We've gotten very close."

"Close enough to hug in public?"

"I'm a very physical person. I would hug my sister's boyfriend if she had one. I'm not going to treat my brother's boyfriend any differently."

"So, you approve of homosexual relationships?"

"Love is love. My brother is happy. I think everyone deserves to be happy."

Josh nudged Spencer. "See, I told you he was good."

Seeing the fond smile on Josh's face, Spencer said, "You love this as much as watching him perform."

"He _is_ performing," said Josh.

"Drake," asked a petite woman on the front row, "is there a special lady in your life?"

"I'm single right now."

"Your most recent girlfriend, Sylvia Brannaugh is now dating Julia Lopez. Any comments?"

"I love women who are open-minded."

"What else do you look for in a woman?"

Drake paused, and Josh shot a worried look at Spencer. Drake lied effortlessly. He only stopped to think when he was considering telling the truth.

"No offense to any of the women I've dated in the past—and some of them have been truly wonderful—but I think maybe I've been too quick to fall for a great pair of legs and a pretty face. This time around I want to be with someone I can spend the rest of my life with."

***

The first time Josh heard "Can't Decide," Drake was lying on the couch with his eyes half-closed, playing his guitar and looking sexy enough to be on an album cover. Even though the lyrics were only half-finished, the song blew Josh away. He walked around humming the melody to himself for weeks, and it made him sad to think it would end up in what he called Drake's "private collection."

There was "But I Am,"

_I ought to let you have your fun;_

_You never were my only one;_

_I shouldn't be jealous, but I am,_

which Drake said had the lyrics of a crappy show tune. Josh thought it reminded him too much of early days with Spencer, and never pushed him to record it.

There were the naughty songs. Most of the time Drake would improvise until Spencer either collapsed in a fit of helpless giggles or pounced on Josh with an urgency that almost overwhelmed him. On the rare occasions that Drake and Spencer got drunk, they would sing endless variations of "She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain."

_He'll be tied to all four bedposts…._

_He'll be wearing ladies' panties…._

_He'll be screaming spank me harder, when he comes._

Josh would blush as they tried to top each other for filthiest lyrics. Eventually, Drake would pat his arm in mock-concern and say, "Poor Joshie, you're such a prude," or Spencer would waggle his eyebrows and say, "You know you want to try that last one." Embarrassed as he was to admit it, Josh usually did.

And then there was "Can't Decide." It was clearly a happy, upbeat song about three people in love. It was full of the light-hearted sexual innuendo Drake sometimes did, the kind of thing that was blatantly obvious to an adult and perfectly innocent to a seven-year-old. The tune was catchy, and it broke Josh's heart just a little bit to know it would never leave the loft. Three weeks later Drake performed it in concert, and Josh nearly had a heart attack backstage. Amazingly, there was not a single rumor. Even when Drake dedicated the song to "his two dearest friends" on _Goodnight America_, there was not a single hint that Drake was having an affair with his brother and his brother's partner. "Can't Decide" got tons of airplay and was the third most downloaded song on PearTunes two weeks in a row, and no one caught on.

Josh finally decided that no one could hear what was in the lyrics because everyone knew it couldn't happen. Two people in love is hard, so everyone assumed that three people in love must be impossibly complicated, even though Josh knew it was the easiest thing in the world.


End file.
